This weekend was almost great cause I was already done with all assignments and test by Friday. I know I probably could be the last few to catch Karate Kid only now but I simply couldn't find the time to even squeeze in a movie in between my hectic schedule. And my weekend could have been perfect, only if I wasn't so stressed up by some unnecessary stuff- something that I can't help. I never like to talk much bout personal stuff, but heck I just feel like sharing this now. To whoever is reading, at any corner of this world. I've been experiencing this incident since years ago. It got so bad that I was struggling with it almost every night, trust me. I had my own room, till I got scared out of the shit and moved to sleep with the parents. Nope the problem wasn't my room, it's just me. Been months since I last experienced it but on Friday it happened again. I remember bf and I were walking to and fro from some place for supper at around 3am. We chose not to drive, and it's one of the first few times we actually walked for quite a distance. We guessed that some spirit followed me home cos that same night, I got disturbed in my sleep, again. What's more, I was having my menses and my body was even weaker than usual. Everyone else could have woken up the parents, sit up trembling for an hour or leave the place when such things happened to them, but what did I do? I returned back to sleep, that's all. Because I've gotten so numb of it. Sort of like being used to it. I got this sentiment running in me that all the disturbed sleeps are already lined up one after another, waiting to be gotten through. It's not that I am not doing a single thing, but rather, I can't do anything bout it anymore. All I could do is to beg them to go away, and it's become as meaningless as air. I don't wanna go home, I'd rather sacrifice my sleep. This was what I did yesterday, and R accompanied me throughout. One fact I'll live with for my entire life is that he's one person who's willing to go through everything with me. Including giving up his benefits, sacrificing his time and whatnot, he always puts me as his top priority. Last night, we got home at 3am and I realized I left my keys with mom. I felt a tinge of gladness, cos the truth's I didn't wanna go home. So I started frowning, getting all stressed up. I just have to say "Go" and my bf would send me there, anywhere. We talked bout it and decided to make our way to Pasir Ris Way, one of the chalets. On the way there, my tears kept flowing uncontrollably. Even my mucus, they kept gushing out like a tap, till I got bad headache again. I felt pleased, at least for that few hours, cos I didn't have to sleep alone. I feel really claustrophobic whenever it is so. We stayed awake till 8am, and I finally could sleep with a peaceful mind cos the sun was already up and shining. Call me timid, but you wouldn't wanna experience it. Totally believe me. I just wanna add that, baby thanks for being here with me, through everything. You're the only one I trust this much and I can rely on you for anything except nothing, xx