A pretty bad week trying to fight off the massive weakness throughout my whole body. Had a bloated stomach and constant nausea, sucks. Other than that, the concern I got from my surrounding people—especially R for taking care of me—was indeed worth it. Days before that illness which I deemed as Hell, I was still indulging myself in Sashimi and liquors. Was indeed a bad time to go through, I had no appetite at all and my moods changed way faster than how much time I took to force myself to eat up a spoonful of porridge. Even before the previous week, Love was already down with terrible cough, flu and slight fever. I guess it hurt us pretty deep to see each other in such state. On the other side, things were well. It all comes down to these same few things each time I try to pen down my thoughts of the week. Things that I learn everyday; patience, love, understanding. Things like time, money, friendship, happiness, sorrow

Sorrow... Many times at night, he would get all quiet and stare at us with pure sadness in the eyes. We have been observing this for long. Whenever it's time for us to get out of home, he would sit by the couch, munch on his big fat ball slowly; nibble, stare, stop. He would wag his tail when we give him treats, but it doesn't do much of effect after a while. It saddens me that the only possible fact to this behavior could be due to loneliness. We can't do anything to change this, but we could only sigh by the fact of how unfair life can get at times. It does break my heart to see him wag his tail whenever he sees me at the gate; how his head would tilt from one side to another when he hears something funny or attractive like the magical word "Mamam"—which means food; and how he would sit around me when I eat cause knowing what's on his mind, I'm always the one who would give my food to him. On the sad part, I don't think he ever knows I do feel sad for him. Does he? When I see him cry, I can't help but cry along too. Every live has emotions, and when it comes to him, I'm always trying to be understanding toward all things. Even though he can never know how I feel, but I don't blame him

Well once or twice when I used to cry, he would come over, stare for a sec then lick me all over. From how he tried to get near me to show some affection, I knew from then that sometimes he wished he could help but was clueless on how to, even though I could say he has already helped so by licking my bitter tears away. I don't deny I do know they non-human beings do get emotionally complex too. Previously, I had done some research on whether they do in fact cry but I got answers like they do only when they are hungry, hurt, neglected or want some attention. It can't be any of these reasons that he feels sad because we always make sure he gets enough food—well at least I do—and whenever R or I would accidentally step on his little toe we would apologize and pamper him like a baby. No way would he feel neglected, I always try to play with him with every chance I get even when I'm occupied with work. I mean 9/10 of the researches strongly agree that castration is the right way. Of course till now, I'm still not certain if it is indeed so. Sure indeed it's best for its health and to increase longevity. But again, I'm sure everyone who has a choice to live, would want to experience all the things thoroughly in life. By neutering, we can save another 5 years or so, but well, in loneliness. I still think these things matter the most in the end: How fully did we get to live and experience, and not the period of life. I mean I'm not married with a happy family of my own yet, but I bet it's such a bliss to see children of your own blood! Or for this case, a bunch of baby pups cuddling around. Aww. But what's done has been done and I strongly believe every human being and non-human has the right to live life deeply and meaningfully. Most people would ultimately disagree, still harping onto the fact that neutering would be the best decision. Well I guess it still boils down to the same conclusion; they are just like us humans, having to fight against emotions; for loneliness is the worst suffering on earth. We can only suck it up and share our happiness with him as best as we could. Love you, Maf

Every living creature has emotions. Like myself, I have grown to love the little one more and more each day. I never get sick of seeing him. Days when R and I would get unhappy with each other, the sight of M would bring a smile on our face and make things all right. It's really sad to see him tear, how his eyes would get so red and watery. Listeners would disagree by saying how their eyes are naturally watery but all I have to say is I can literally connect myself to him psychologically. I understand what he has to go through—the happy and sad parts, or at least I try to. Here I'm doing up this long post and crying, yet again, for one of the love ones in my life. Hands up to emotions for I give in too easily most of the time. It's been quite a while since I last posted pictures in my blog posts. I shall upload 4 for now, but of course you won't see my face here