Dear diary, I still remember that when I was young, I often told my mommy I want an ugly boyfriend, a totally hideous husband in future. Maybe not a really banged up person but just not as good-looking. Because I don't want any other girls to get involved with him. Yes, I learnt to be selfish at a young age. As cliche as it sounds, I didn't have high expectations but just hoped that somehow he would love me unconditionally, the others don't matter at all. Until when I reached my double digits, I began to have endless expectations for a guy. Besides that, I really don’t think it's quite possible to find someone I could completely mesh with, n be 100 percent satisfied with. Y'know what? I always thought that maybe I'm just scared to find someone I truly love 'cause I'm afraid there could be someone out there even better for me. Right now, I am content with everything n I totally do not have the old mindset any more. The reason could be only becos of Roy. Yes, my Royboy

Every single day, we encounter new things. We hug, fight, make peace, love. Can you imagine that we actually quarrelled over a soft drink last night? It would be mean of me to send him home at 2am, like a little boy getting punished for not drinking plain water. Speaking of which, baby I'd like to apologize once again that I should always, always think twice before I show my grumpy face at you. We felt overwhelmingly weary in the middle of the night. He snatched my bolster while I pulled over the soft blanket. As usual, he fell asleep within no time n I lay there with a mixture of feelings. I wanted to read my new book that he bought for me, but I wouldn't want to wake him up if I turn on the lights. Feeling stiff n drained, I refused to sleep. Bf had to get up at 6 in the morning for his camp stuff at west coast. Knowing it would be getting light soon, I continued counting to his little snores n deep breathing. At that moment, I wished it'd rain right away so I could close my eyes whilst leaning my heavy head against the cool windowpane, think of sad lyrics n let my mind wander freely. No, I wasn't sad. It's just a habit of mine, I'm eccentric like that. Anyway, I'm glad I woke dearest up at 6 'cause he played frisbee n I bet it was a fun morning. Today, he was holding my hand n smiling as he was talking about it. He mentioned of the little adorable kids he met at the park. As often, we argued over baby girl/boy. I always prefer baby boy while he likes baby girls more

"I want a baby girl, pretty like the mum n we can doll her up!" He said
"I want a baby boy, with nice lips n good character like the dad" I replied

This evening, we went for movie with my mommy n brother. My stomach was growling throughout in the cinema although we had dinner just right before the movie started. Royboy bought happy meal for me n we spent a few hours talking at Sungei Buloh. The last time we were there was filled with deep memories. It was the day we officially got together. We agreed that during this point of time, our love has indeed grown stronger each day. Tonight, both of us got off the car n enjoyed the cool breeze, till I went almost weak on the legs. He pulled his jacket over me. As observed for a while, our hearts n minds do link with each other. We always happen to do or react the same way together. We saw 3 dogs ran past. I remembered the first time he brought me there, I was quite afraid yet calm cos there were a lot of stray dogs. This particular dog has white spots on its black body, or black spots on its white body, either one whatever but I named it Dalmatian. I saw Dalmatian earlier on again, it was looking good. Love...... tonight, compared to the previous visit there, I do realized I care much more for you. Thanks for always being the nicest thus far. There's something I'd like to add on. I know that the reason you brought me there tonight's cos there are really some unhappy issues on your mind. I'm glad you feel much better now. Y'know we have to stop desiring certain answers, they cant be given to us. As y'know I've always got a million things to tell you, but one thing that slipped off my mind earlier on was that, I no longer feel dark inside me, ever since you found me. I love you, R

The reason I haven't been updating as often as I did is because I'm living my everyday in happy moments. Seriously so. I used to rant or drown every posts with unhappy issues that had been happening constantly all the time, but right now, I literally do not have anything else to update on except the happy days spent. It's 4:30am. Been a long day, n we still have to run errands later on. So, peace out!