The day didn't go well. To argue with someone so dear was definitely not an enjoyable thing. It's not like something I could choose, could I? When the situation just happens to cock up because of another matter just as important. I didn't ask for that, neither could I stop it from happening. So it wasn't really my fault at all, or was it?

I left home in anger, tears in my eye rims. I 'm glad the cool breeze that came all of a sudden calmed me down. 'Cos I knew if I didn't step out at that moment, I was gonna kill someone. Well, literally. Worse, my sweetheart made me wait for an hour!! She reached at cck 1.50pm when my briefing was 2 o'clock at Aljunied some stupid road called Kallang Pudding Rd with a lot of industries and companies, and the cab driver took me round and round. Was so sick throughout the whole journey. But could never be mad with that cutiepie starrieglamgal for long, so we went to eat almost all the food at FEP after that. Walked around a little, saw nice jeans everywhere at ion orchard, and since it's time to get 'em nice ones. But I spent all my money on cab fare AND FOOD. Kkthxisuck

We chilled and sat down at a cafe, had heart-to-heart talk. I told her about my perspectives on life, to how useless I feel of myself cos I am not doing enough productive things, to the friends I wanna keep, to those I wanna forget and simply get rid of, then to everything. I spoke in a very.. i don't know sad, or rather, helpless way and I am not even sure if that was me speaking to her just now. Cos I thought I was already over the worry stage, that I won't be such a worrier anymore. Just in the morning, I was talking about the quote- Carpe Diem. It doesn't suit me at all, Whit. I admit I still think a lot, always so concerned of the future. I can never stop worrying for a sec or possibly quit thinking of a hundred what ifs. What if everything balls up when I am only starting to enjoy the good things? What if things don't work? What if they go tits up when they are slowly going back into place? Fuck this shit

Is it the cold weather these days or what that is making me so nostalgic? Sometimes I really dislike myself for thinking so much, then drowning myself in endless pity~~ sobsob with such long post when there's no need to. Ahsux2bme!!kkgo2hell. This post is not even half of what I've written in my diary. No people, y'all don't make own assumptions like I am having a hard time finding myself in life, or that I am a huge sucker with a large 'L' emblazoned across my forehead. It's just a couple of thoughts here. G2g, meeting Joleydaniels & the rest at 10 in the morning. Sweet dreams, xHELLO AARONE, YOU ARE THE BREAD I AM THE EGG KK HEHE!!